En indsigt, kan forandre alt.

Kære skønne sjæle. 😊

Og velkommen til min første danske blog. (continue scrolling, after the Danish blog the English edition will follow.)

Jeg vil gerne dele en del af min sjæl med dig  idag, det er specielt for dig hvis du har lyst til at høre og forstå mere omkring hvordan, man kan have et bedre forhold til sig selv og sine elskede.

For godt 3 og et halv år siden havde jeg en kæmpe indsigt som kom som et lyn fra en klar himmel. Det betød, at jeg begyndt at se min kære mand gennem klare øjne, det var ikke længere kun hans skyld!

Det er ikke nogen hemmelighed, at min mand og jeg havde oplevet store problemer i vores ægteskab. Vi ligesom glemte os selv og hinanden. Vi have glemt at lytte og give hinanden plads, vi havde glemt at vi begge var forskellige individer.

Nå jeg nu kikker i bakspejlet, kan jeg grine lidt af det fordi, at jeg kan nu se det som det var, at vi begge to var helt uskyldigt fanget, i vores egne hoveder, opslugt af vores hele tiden forandrende tanker, som vi tog mega seriøst.

Vi ledte længe efter ”hvorfor`s” og analyserede igen og igen, de fejl vi havde begået helt tilbage, da vi først blev gift, og vi fandt aldrig nogen svar. Nu ser jeg det som noget af det mest logiske, at vi selvfølgelig ikke, ville få svar eller se varige forandringer, gennem denne måde som vi havde at taklede vores problemer på, for som Albert Einstein siger ”We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”.

En ting jeg var sikker på, igennem denne periode, jeg vidst at 100% at elskede min mand……..men så vidste jeg heller ikke mere.

Jeg tænkte, at hvis Karl bare holdt op med at gøre X, og hvis Karl bare gjorde sådan, og hvis han bare holdt om med at sige det, så ville vores forhold bare være dejlig, for det her havde jo ikke noget med mig at gøre, vel?

Jeg skubbede Karl væk, jeg var skide irriteret over at han ikke kunne fatte, hvordan jeg gerne ville elskes, og hvordan rigtig kærlighed skulle se ud.

Genkendte noget? Måske omkring forventninger, du har til kærlighed? Måske omkring dine forevige forandrende tanker?

Jeg ledet efter noget i mit liv, jeg vidste bare ikke, på da værende tidspunkt, at det jeg ledet efter, stirrede mig lige i ansigt, når jeg kikkede dybt og roligt i spejlet!

Men det begyndte at gå op for mig, i begyndelse af 2015, da vågnede jeg med et sæt, i Birmingham, med tanken/følelsen: hvis du bliver ved med at skubbe ham væk, så forlader han dig. Det kom fuldstændig ud af det blå, det var ikke noget jeg havde tænkt mig fem til, det var som om at få et slag i hoved, for det var jo FULDSTÆNDIG åbenlyst, men det havde jeg bare ikke overvejet eller set før.

Jeg ringede jeg til Karl og fortalte ham om min indsigt, og sagde jeg vidste at alt ville blive anderledes, og det gjorde det. 😊 😊 (Jeg vil lige sige her, det betød ikke, at alt blev rosen rødt, for det gjorde det absolut ikke, men vores forhold blev stærkere og stærkere, og smukke følelser af tilfredshed og respekt begyndt at igen at opstå.)

Den ene indsigt gjorde åbnede mig op til at ”høre”: At den eneste i hele verden, der er ansvarlig for min lykke, er MIG og det samme gælder for DIG. Det betød at jeg kunne se at Karls kærlighed for mig, ikke have spor at gøre med min lykke at gøre. Jeg var ikke længere afhængig af ham, jeg havde ikke længer brug for at fortalte mig, at han elskede mig, for jeg vidste at jeg var lavet af kærlighed. Det betød at jeg havde en frihed til at være mig i vores forhold, uanset hvordan jeg end er, fra øjeblik til øjeblik. Sikken en gave det var både for mig og ham😊

Når vi hører noget ”nyt” eller noget som vi måske ikke, har været opmærksom på før, så har det muligheden til at forandre din oplevelse af dine elskede, dine venner, folk du møder på gaden, naturen og alt andet i mellem. 😊

Da vi først mødte vores ”elskede”, havde vi jo ikke nogen opdigtet historie om dem. Vi mødte dem med et åbent og nysgerrigt hjerte, og vi følte os helt bløde i knæerne når vi så på dem. Vi fik ”elektrisk stød” når de rørte ved os, de var bare så skønne, så smukke, åbne, ligetil, vi elskede alt det de kom med, vores kærlighed for dem var betingelsesløs, husker du det?

Når vi først mødte ”os selv”, da vi ankom til denne verden, havde vi heller ikke nogen opdigtet historie, om hvordan kærlighed skulle se ud, vi følte det bare, vi var et med kærligheden. Vi mødte os selv og verden med åbenhed, nysgerrighed og kærlighed, vi forstod at kærlighed var det eneste vi behøvede, vi vidste 100% at vi var OK nøjagtig som vi var, og nøjagtig som du er i dag!

Vi lever videre og vi begynder at ”opdigte” vores historie og nu mere vi tænker på dem, desto mere tro vi på dem! Vi tror på vores tanker, som jeg troede på, at kærlighed skulle vises og føles på en bestemt måde, men sikken en uskyldig fejl jeg lavede, måske også dig?

Jeg vågnede op den dag i Birmingham og så at der var en anden vej, du kan også vågne op!

Med kærlighed og smil fra Charlotte The Danishlotus

PS er ved at få lavet ny website, tak for din forståelse.

English edition.

ONE INSIGHT IS ALL YOU NEED.

Dear Beautiful souls. 😊

I would like to share a part of my soul with you today, it is especially for you, who would like to hear and understand more, on how you can have a better relationship with yourself and your loved ones.

Just over 3 years ago I have a big insight. It meant that I started to see my husband through clear eyes, it was no longer just his fault!

It has been no secret that my husband and I have been experiencing big “problems” in our marriage. The last many years it was like we forgot ourselves and each other. For forgot to listen and to give each other space, we forgot that were both two separate individuals.

Now when I look in review mirror, I kind of laugh, as I can now see it for what is was, we were both completely innocently caught up in our heads, consumed by our ever-changing thoughts, thoughts and thinking that we both took very seriously, indeed.

We were looking for why´s and analysed everything again and again, all the mistakes we had made, all the way back to when we first got married, and we never got any answers. I now see it as the most logical thing ever, that of course we would not get answers or see any lasting change, with the way we were tackling our “problems”, as Albert Einstein said, “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we create them”.

One thing during this whole period I was certain of, I knew 100% that I love my husband ……and actually that was all that I knew!

I thought if just Karl stopped doing xyz, and if Karl would just do this, and not do that……. then our relationship would be amazing, as of course it had nothing to do with me, did it?

I pushed Karl away, I was often bloody annoyed, that he would not get how I wanted to be loved or what love should look like.

Does anything resonate with you? Perhaps expectations around love? or perhaps something around your ever-changing thoughts?

I was looking for something in my life, I just had no idea, that what I was looking for, was starring right at me, when I looked deep and calmly in the mirror😊

But I began to see that in the beginning of 2015 when I woke up in Birmingham, with the thoughts/feelings: If you keep on pushing him away he WILL leave you. It came to me completely out of the blue, it was nothing I had thought myself too, it was like a great big smack on the face, it was so clear to me, I had just not considered it or seen it before.

I called Karl and told him about my insight, and that I knew that thing would change and it did. 😊 😊 (I will just say, that it did not mean our life was a bed of roses, far from it, but our relationship grew stronger and stronger, and mutual beauty, contentment, respect resurfaced)

That one insight “made” me open op to “hear”, that the only one in the whole world who is responsible for my happiness is me, my happiness does not come from him loving me. To me that meant I was no longer dependent on him, I no longer needed him to tell me, that he loved me, as I knew I was made up of love. From that I gained the freedom to show up with him, whatever that looked like moment to moment. What a gift that was to me and him.

When we hear something “new” or something we perhaps never noticed before, it has the possibility to change your experience of your loved ones, your friends, people you meet on the street and everything else in between.

When we first meet our loved one, we did not have, and innocent story made up in our heads about them. We meet them with an open heart and with deep curiosity. We felt week at the knees when we looked at them. We got an “electric shock” when they touched us, they were pure awesomeness, beautiful, open, straightforward, we basically loved everything about them, our love for them carried no conditions, do you remember?

When we first meet “ourselves”, in this world, we did not have any stories about what love needed to look like, we just felt it, we simply felt one with love. We meet ourselves and the world with an open heart, curiosity and love, we understood that we were 100% OK exactly the way we are, and YOU still are 100% OK today.

We then live on, and we begin to make up our stories, and the more we think of them the more real they look. We believe our thinking, as I thought that love needed to look and feel a certain way, but what an innocent mistake I made, perhaps you made one too?

From the bottom of my heart, please don’t believe everything you think, you are so much more than your thinking.

I woke up that day in Birmingham and felt there was another way, you can wake up too!

With love and smiles from Charlotte the Danishlotus

 

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Don’t believe everything you think!

Hi lovely people, I bet you are surprised that I have  written a post, or again maybe you are not!

The thing is we never really know what someone else is thinking, as you know we are not mind readers….. right LOL. However many of us often walk around assuming that we know or we guess what others are thinking of us ……… Truthfully, I can’t say that I never worry what anyone thinks of me because I am human after all!

But what I can say is that I do not waste as much time worrying what others think of me as I used too and that feels amazing it has given me more space and peace.

Imagine, you are walking down the street and you say Hi to a friend who is walking past you, they don’t respond, you continue walking and you think….ohhhhh noooo what have I done to upset them? did I look at them funny, ohhhh no000 they don’t like me any more etc etc ….all of this is going in your head  and you body is also beginning to respond to your thinking,  it is becomes tense and you may start feel anxious.

When you arrive home you are still thinking that you have upset your friend and now you are starting to get angry how dare they not to say hi. Yet deep inside you, you  know that you have not done anything to cause upset and that they probably did not see you at all.

(Can you see what i happening, you know that you have not upset your friend but you are not trusting or listening to you inner wisdom you are ignoring it, with more thinking around your friend not saying hi).

You mind is by now galloping and you are becoming increasingly tense and annoyed so you decide to write them a text ,,,,,,,Hi Gerda I am  really upset that you ignored me earlier when I said Hi to you in town, what have i done to upset you? She responds: what do you mean when you saw me in town, I did not see you.

You have just spent the last hour experiencing stress, anger and anxiety which all came from your thinking at that moment, that thinking you had was not truth.

This could be any kind of scenario but im pretty sure you have experienced something similar I for sure have LOL.

We do not know what others are thinking so please lets us not attempt to be mind readers and therefore also know not believe everything you think!

I hope this makes sense and if not I would love to hear from you on thedanishlotus@gmail.com

With much love and compassion from Charlotte the Danishlotus XXX

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If you felt this was helpful and you want to know  more about me and what I do please just click here https://danishlotus.wordpress.com/coaching/

 

 

Now is all we have.

Gorgeous people good day to you all. I do hope your Weekend has been enjoyable.

Wherever you are on your journey of your discovery of life, welcome to all of YOU, your lights and your shadows  are equally welcome here. Know that you are one beautiful human being with love and compassion which you also need to give to your own gorgeous fabulous self

We have all learned different lessons and that will never stop,  maybe your learning has been about love, loneliness or relationship. None of us have been spared feelings of hurt that may keep us sad, fear that keep us stuck, pain that that keeps us crying  we all recognise some or all of these.  If we are still and quiet we will hear that  our soul wants us to roar, to relax, to let it all go to make space for our innate health our joy, calm and fun.

Let this gorgeous bank holiday be the start of the rest of your life, let it remind you to live, breath, laugh and love, let it be the day where you begin to give yourself permission to let go of all the old tape recordings that are telling you, that you have not got time, you can’t do this, you are not worthy etc etc. Be your power, choose to prioritise you own inner wellbeing, create time for whatever is calling you don’t make excuses anymore, now is all we have!

Now is all we have!, a powerful statement, but it is how it is! the rest has not happened yet and if  it has already happened and it can’t be undone!

So I invite you to just think about those 5 words NOW IS ALL I HAVE and wonder what does that actually mean to you and what changes are you going to make for YOU today? 

I would love to hear about the changes you will be making, you can contact me on thedanishlotus@gmail.com or if you have any questions please do feel free to email me too.

Please do remember that  YOU CAN.

Paulo Coelho said: You are what you believe yourself to be.

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Much love and happy living from the Danishlotus XXX

 

 

 

 

 

The old tape recorder!

A happy Friday hello to all you gorgeous people out there…:)

Being creative have always been part of me, and I have for sure become aware that if I do not have an outlet for that wonderful part of myself I become grumpy, well that is what my husband say and I of course, do NOT believe him hahaha!

I become less loving towards myself and then the old tape recorder start to play the same old negative old stuff ,;telling me what I can’t do, that people don’t care and so forth, Im sure I don’t need to go as many of you are or have experienced similar noise.

So being creative simply feeds my soul and that become feelings of wholesomeness, lovingness, caring, and compassion that then will ripple out to my family, friends, strangers I meet etc, basically it’s a win-win!

So lately I have been feeding my creative soul by firstly treating myself to a glorious new cook called “BURMA”by Naomi Duguid, and then cooking some wonderful Burmese food and I tell you I love it. The first time I cooked a dish (Silky Shan soup), it did however NOT turn our well. As I per always attempt to get recipes  to fit with what is in my store cupboard and this time, it simply did not work out, chestnut flour could really not compensate for chickpea flour hahaha, so lesson learned sometimes conforming is OK 🙂

Anyways I have been making gorgeous condiments, sweet and chili-garlic sauce, shallots oil and Kachin salsa and tonight Elina Sky and I have prepared for us to have “aromatic chicken from the shan hills (will add a photo later of this) and carrot salad with mooli (inspired by Burmese and Japanese ingredients).

So dear people do go easy on yourself if things do not go “right” the first time. We develop and expand our awareness, resilience and strength  by trying again and NOT letting our fear of falling keeping us down.

Im wondering what feeds your creative soul? I would love to hear your thoughts on thedanishlotus@gmail.com

Much love and happy creative compassion for you all from the Danishlotus. XXX

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“Self love is not a luxury it is your birth right!”

Dearest loveliest and amazing people……..Yes YOU… YOU right there…I wanted to share something with you that I believe is the core of all of us. Love and compassion.

I believe all people have love and compassion in their heart both for them self and for other, regardless of who, what, and when etc. etc. Yes, I am talking to  YOU too, so don’t run away LOL..

I understand though why some of you may feel disconnected with this wonderful part of yourself, (I for sure have been there) however, love and compassion never left you It is just hiding under the surface, waiting for you to be brave and courageous enough to embrace this beautiful, creative and healing part of yourself.

So how do we start to reconnect with this beautiful part again? Further on I’ll give you some ideas on this but let me first give you an “invitation”.

I would like to invite YOU to remember the first time, when it  was NOT OK to love and care for yourself, in actual fact it may even have felt like it was a selfish act…..

Well please let me tell YOU, to me that is utter CRAP, it is not selfish to care and be loving towards ourselves is our birth right, right! as I have previously said, “self love is not a luxury it is a necessity”.(previous  blog post)https://danishlotus.wordpress.com/2015/02/03/self-love-is-not-a-luxury/

Most of us are taught  from a very young age, at school, at home, to be patient towards others, be gentle  with her/him because they feel sad, use kind words, show compassion because they are having a difficult time etc. etc. Which of course is a lovely thing that we are taught to be wonderful, decent, loving  and tolerant towards other human beings.

But I’m wondering if you were taught that these wonderful ways of being also needed to be turned inwards to YOU? …..that you need use kind words with yourself,  that you need to have patience with yourself, that you must be gentle with yourself, that you need to have compassion towards yourself.

Many of us were not taught this, and I am in no way putting blame or pointing fingers at anyone just saying it happened and still happens.

YOU can begin to make changes for you. When you are showing compassion for your best friend who is having a stressful time or your mum, your children or whoever it is in your life you show compassion for, every time you feel it for them recognise it, feel it deeply and acknowledge this also for yourself, notice it in your body and your heart.

When you gently picking  a flower, stroking your pet, talking to a child, again recognise this feeling of gentleness,  acknowledge this for yourself too. You can do this with many different aspects of you life. Give it a try you have nothing to loose but you have much love and compassion to be regained.

Please feel free to email me you thoughts and experiences on this I would love to hear from you. If you want to know more about what I may be able to offer to support you in this please email me too on thedanishlotus@gmail.com

May you all enjoy the upcoming holidays with compassion for yourself and for others. The beautiful  message in the heart is from my 6 year old daughter, November 2015.

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With much love and Compassion for YOU from the Danishlotus XXX

 

 

Different Traditions for you and me!

Helllllloooo and happy happy Sunday to you all. I know many of you will celebrate mothers day today  but some of you will not, I  wish you will ALL enjoy the day. In Denmark mothers day is celebrated the first Sunday in May, which is the tradition we are following in our house, so I’ll wait patiently for my breakfast in bed LOL.

I love Sundays in our house, a day of chilling not too much routine just being really. The kids are pottering Karl it outside. Love it, and what I have found myself doing on many Sundays is going back “in time”, what I mean is, doing things that my grandmother and stepmom would spend a lot of time doing, pickling vegetable, making rødkål (kind of pickled red cabbage but Scandi style) making jams, elderberry juice and so forth.

And I so love it on so many different levels, firstly it really is feeding my creative soul and is quieting all the noise “upstairs” (my brain in case you are unsure of what I am talking about LOL). Secondly it reminds me of some of the wonderful things growing up with gorgeous homemade soul food. Im pretty sure at the time I took it for granted!. Today however I’m eternally grateful and proud of the knowledge and skills that it gave me being around the caring and love for homemade food.

 Don’t get me wrong I do of course buy some ready stuff, and I certainly haven uninspired days where I do not feel like cooking at all, but generally I do take great pride in preparing food and cook with utter love and do you know what?it also brings joy to my family and my body (most of the time LOL) so win win all round.
Unfortunately I think that some of these “traditions” are being lost which saddens me. I am gonna continue my passion for following some of the traditions that have been passed down and I am hoping it will ripple down to my children.
Today I made some gorgeous pickled vegetables, rødkål, chocolate spelt cake and later we will prepare for homemade pizza..YEAHHH…… JAMMYY……… I am wondering if you have any “foody” traditions that you have taken on and if you have I wonder what they are?
I’d really would love to hear about your lovely traditions and maybe we could share recipes! you can email me on thedanishlotus@gmail.com
May you all have a lovely and delicious Sunday.
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Much love From the Danishlotus XXX

Fly with ease.

Hi, fabulicious people, I do hope you have been keeping well as I am aware it is fair bit of time since we last “spoke”.   However I know that you have understanding and compassion for, life just happens!.

Today is a really special day for me and of course for my oldest son as it is his birthday today JUUBIII JEEAAAHH and HIP HURRRAAA. 

Can you believe it he is 20 today,  only the universe know where the time went because truly I don’t  know, as I do not feel much older since he was born and certainly don’t look it LOL. However I have to admit, I’m certainly much wiser! which I’m sure some of you would argue LOL. 

So today there is that big crazy part of me that really just want to celebrate with my son, have a big party, loud music and lots of dancing……. and let me be honest here, that really would be fantastic but actually, it would be mostly for the benefit of  feeding my inner fun-loving child as he is really not as much of a party animal as me LOL.

I am also aware that there is a vulnerable part of me that is feeling nostalgic and possible a little sad.  I know it is important for me not to deny this part of myself as I have finally come to embrace my vulnerable self through years of traveling and learning, on this wonderful life journey, that is still going strong by the way!. 

So what is this all about, well, I believe when we  give life to children they really are not ours, they are here to teach us to be the best person, and parent we can be. Our “job” is to give our children a strong foundation with lots of love, nurturing and varied experiences, so they can grow their wings that will enable them to fly when they are ready. (Maybe you need to give them a little push LOL)

So he has flow  and I guess for me it has just reminded me that nothing ever stands still we are in constant change even and a crazy Danish Viking!

This is one of the things that he enjoys and love most in life, Basketball, hope you have found something that lights you up.

Much love from the Danishlotus XXX